Sequels to ’90s Kids Movies We’d Like to See

Image via Consequenceofsound.net

I’m not sure if you’re aware, but ’90s nostalgia is here in a big way. With all of the best properties of the ’90s being revived for television or film reboots it was inevitable that we’d eventually hit the bottom of the barrel.

Eventually.¬†Unfortunately the bottom of the barrel is here! Now! With the announcement that 1996’s Looney Tunes basketball shitfest Space Jam is set to get a sequel starring Lebron James. Now, I have no beef with Lebron–he was one of the highlights of last summer’s Amy Schumer comedy Trainwreck–but Space Jam is decidedly¬†not my jam. It’s a bad movie that I can’t even like ironically.

But if Hollywood is hellbent on making a sequel to Space Jam, I figured the executives at Warner Brothers might need some help picking their next sequel to a pile of junk. So without further ado:

 

Seven sequels to shitty ’90s kids movies Hollywood should make next

 

Dunston Checks Out

In this sequel to the 1996 Ape-in-a-hotel comedy, Dunston leaves the hotel–and this mortal coil. Laughs abound.

Blank Check 2: Panama Papers

Twenty years after Preston Waters committed bank fraud with a blank check, he’s back with an adventure ripped right from the headlines. Can Preston evade prison AND taxes?

Little Giants 2: Sorry Gang, No Rick Moranis

Ed O’Neill’s former Heisman Trophy winner and peewee football coach Kevin O’Shea spends 90 minutes lamenting how great his brother (played in the original by Rick Moranis) is, and how he wishes he’d get back into the coaching game. A gripping tale of how we all want Rick Moranis to come out of retirement…because RICK MORANIS IS THE BEST.

The Pagemaster 2: Hey, Remember The Pagemaster?

Nope, me neither.

Jungle 2 Jungle 2 Jungle

Tim Allen returns to the jungle? I’ll be honest with you, I don’t remember a damned thing about Jungle 2 Jungle.

Kazaam 2: They’re Making Space Jam 2

Touchstone Pictures presents a movie starring Shaquille O’Neal as a wise cracking genie who grants a nostalgic man-child his greatest wish: a sequel to Space Jam.

Rookie of the Year v Angels in the Outfield: Dawn of Little Big League

The first ever shared cinematic baseball franchise. Still better than Batman v Superman.

 

 

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