Giant Fire Breathing Robot Does “Four in February”
By now, you’ll all have had time to download and digest the latest episode of Pyronauts, Giant Fire Breathing Robot’s new video games podcast.
Every gamer has a pile of shame – it’s the stack of games we have sitting uncompleted. We may be halfway through, we may be stuck at a teeth-grindingly hard final boss, or just stalled somewhere random. For example, to this day I have yet to complete Majora’s Mask, having been struck down partway through with a migraine so fierce I can remember it clearly to this day. I put the controller down, stumbled into bed to recover, and I’ve yet to touch the game again.
So, Levi thought it would be a good idea for us, GFBR’s video games team, to attempt to complete Four in February. Conor and Little Andrew, aka CallmeMerry, agreed while I declined. I’ll be busy enough this month just trying to get near the new releases, let alone old stuff, so I unfortunately had to rule myself out.
However, not to be deterred, the rest of the gang have seized upon my apparent neutrality as a means of making things interesting. We have decided that not only will Andrew, Conor, and Levi attempt to complete Four in February, but there will be a forfeit for the one who completes the fewest out of their chosen four. Whichever one finds themselves in last place will have to play a game decided by me, a game that will be chosen for its sheer, unremitting, unforgivable lack of quality. A game shunned by its peers, and made outcast by gamers worldwide. A game so bad that I’m not going to reveal it until the appropriately dramatic time is upon us.
While this might seem a win-win scenario for me, there is another side to the wager. Should all three gamers complete their lists, I will be the one to play a game of their choosing. And, I’m sure you can imagine that they will be just as unkind to me as I would to them.
The lists of games to be played are as follows:
- Chrono Trigger
- Final Fantasy 6
- Secret of Mana
- Dark Souls
- Epic Mikey
- Neverwinter Nights 2
- Persona 4
- Bioshock 2
- Fallout: Las Vegas
Never let it be said that we on the video games team are burdened with an excess of common sense. However, we have at least made some concessions to the limits of space/time by allowing our players to settle for main storyline completion instead of forcing them to go for 100% completion in each game.
You may recognise some of the titles in there as being legendarily lengthy games. It’s unanimous amongst the team that Andrew has the toughest list here, although I suspect he knows more than he’s letting on. At time of writing, Levi is out in front, having already finished off Bioshock 2. Conor hasn’t exactly shied away from a challenge – Dark Souls is a defiantly difficult game to survive, let alone complete.
We’ll check in on our gamers in the next episode of Pyronauts, which is due for release on the 13th of this month, and see how they’re coming along. So, until then feel free to send our brave competitors all the prayers, loving thoughts, or sparkling dream energy you think they need.